Hello, NESQuesters! I’m Matthew Conway, writer of various internet blog-things of no consequence and full-time Retro Gaming Rain Man. I’m here because the proprietor of this fine website asked me to pen a few guest articles for him while he’s busy doing other things. I’ll never forget when I got the call from Mr. Cornelius. Our … Continue reading Lost in the Minus World – Review # -1: Titanic
Tag Archives: Unlicensed
#709 – Wally Bear and the NO! Gang
Rats are so desperate to kill Wally Bear that they’ll throw cartoon bombs at him in broad daylight. Slow your roll, Wally! Just say NO to ancient evil. PLAYERS: 1-2 alternating PUBLISHER: American Video Entertainment DEVELOPER: American Game Cartridges GENRE: Action RELEASE DATE: 1992 Wally Bear and the NO! … Continue reading #709 – Wally Bear and the NO! Gang
#705 – Vindicators
This cover is bonkers compared to the actual game. I expected less pastels. PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Tengen DEVELOPER: Westwood Studios GENRE: Arcade RELEASE DATE: 1988 Vindicators is the story of a space tank’s constant fight for survival. Literally, all you do in this game is shoot other … Continue reading #705 – Vindicators
#702 – Venice Beach Volleyball
Sharks can’t play volleyball. Crabs can’t play either. PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: American Video Entertainment DEVELOPER: Idea-Tek GENRE: Sports RELEASE DATE: 1991 Venice Beach Volleyball is your standard back-and-forth volleyball throwdown, complete with salacious cover. There’s four teams – two male, two female – to choose from, each … Continue reading #702 – Venice Beach Volleyball
#694 – Ultimate League Soccer
The ultimate average soccer title. Watch out for Gene Simmons in the background. Red shirt passes it to red shirt. Red shirt hits! He scores! PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: American Video Entertainment DEVELOPER: Hacker International GENRE: Sports RELEASE DATE: 1992 If there were such a thing as honest … Continue reading #694 – Ultimate League Soccer
#686 – Trolls on Treasure Island
Perhaps the cave will hold some pants. Smirking bastards. PLAYERS: 1-2 alternating PUBLISHER: American Video Entertainment DEVELOPER: American Video Entertainment GENRE: Arcade/Puzzle RELEASE DATE: 1994 I always knew there were Trolls on Treasure Island, but until I learned of this game’s existence, I couldn’t prove it. Trolls On … Continue reading #686 – Trolls on Treasure Island
#673 – Toobin’
Look at him bro – er, go! Water in the desert? Yeah right, Toobin’. PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Tengen DEVELOPER: Tengen GENRE: Arcade RELEASE DATE: 1989 The concept of Toobin’ is one of the all-time best in video game history. Two bros named Biff and Jet embark on … Continue reading #673 – Toobin’
#639 – Tagin’ Dragon
Twenty levels worth of buncha muncha cruncha dragon. That pile of bones is my dragon carcass. They look a bit like lions, don’t they? PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Bunch Games DEVELOPER: Sachen GENRE: Arcade RELEASE DATE: 1989 Sachen is one of the shiftiest unlicensed developers on the NES, … Continue reading #639 – Tagin’ Dragon
#628 – Super Sprint
Endorsed by Big Red! Missed Opportunity: Super Sprint Fruit Snacks. They’re speedily delicious. PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Tengen DEVELOPER: Atari GENRE: Racing RELEASE DATE: 1989 Super Sprint sounds like it should be the Ultimate Track-and-Field Game, but it’s actually all about car sprinting i.e. racing. Miniature Formula One … Continue reading #628 – Super Sprint
#617 – Sunday Funday: The Ride
This was originally called Tuesday Poo-sday but the Wisdom Tree marketers wouldn’t stand for it. Exploding plumbers isn’t something you typically deal with on the way to church, but he had it coming. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Wisdom Tree DEVELOPER: Wisdom Tree GENRE: Action RELEASE DATE: 1995 Sunday Funday takes … Continue reading #617 – Sunday Funday: The Ride
#616 – Stunt Kids
47 nightmarish levels. Those poor snails. The Stunt Kid would rather take his own life than squelch that of an innocent duck. PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Camerica DEVELOPER: Codemasters GENRE: Racing RELEASE DATE: 1992 Nothing says “why God why” like a horrible unlicensed rip-off of Excitebike. Stunt Kids … Continue reading #616 – Stunt Kids
#594 – Spiritual Warfare
Putting a cross on a shield didn’t work out so great for Constantine. “But all the cool kids are drinking!” PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Wisdom Tree DEVELOPER: Wisdom Tree GENRE: Action/Adventure RELEASE DATE: 1992 Rise from your knees, man of God. There’s an evil modern city waiting to be … Continue reading #594 – Spiritual Warfare