“What do I hear for this swingin’ bachelor, ladies? As you can see by the mop, he’s not afraid to do a little housework!” Toxie’s mop should take care of those piddly shotguns. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Bandai DEVELOPER: TOSE GENRE: Beat-em-up RELEASE DATE: April 1992 Toxic Crusaders is trash, … Continue reading #680 – Toxic Crusaders
Tag Archives: Beat-em-up
#650 – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: The Manhattan Project
Psst! Raph! The war is in the opposite direction! Tonk and the Tonk-ettes come to croon – and bludgeon! PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Konami DEVELOPER: Konami GENRE: Beat-em-up RELEASE DATE: February 1992 Here’s Manhattan: home of the brash, outrageous, and green. The Turtles are back to curb-stomp Foot … Continue reading #650 – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: The Manhattan Project
#649 – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game
The Turtles show no respect for masonry. It was a cold, evil snowmen-with-rockets kind of evening. PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Ultra Games DEVELOPER: Konami GENRE: Beat-em-up RELEASE DATE: December 1990 TMNT II: The Arcade Game, otherwise known as, “What kids wanted all along.” While the original TMNT for … Continue reading #649 – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game
#640 – Target: Renegade
The bullet’s already in his fist. I don’t have any change, but I can spare ya a fist. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Taito DEVELOPER: Software Creations GENRE: Beat-em-up RELEASE DATE: March 1990 Renegade was a by-the-numbers brawler that, nevertheless, gave the player a valuable message: don’t go into the … Continue reading #640 – Target: Renegade
#613 – Street Cop
I’ll be takin’ that soul of yours now. Nice and easy. Copping a feel on an officer is an arrestable offense. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Bandai DEVELOPER: Human Entertainment GENRE: Beat-em-up RELEASE DATE: June 1989 Street…? Cop…? Street Cop. In this Power Pad/controller collaboration (1989 y’all!), you guide a … Continue reading #613 – Street Cop
#542 – Rollergames
Harrison Ford stars as Billy Rollergame, an aging cyberpunk who’s out for one last roll. Run-down alleys are no match for Jazzercise. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Ultra Games DEVELOPER: Konami GENRE: Platformer/beat-em-up RELEASE DATE: September 1990 How many rollerbladers does it take to make a decent beat-em-up? I don’t … Continue reading #542 – Rollergames
#525 – River City Ransom
Not all American gamers want to see American bros on a Japanese brawler, Technos. These frat boys deserve a good pummeling. PLAYERS: 1-2 alternating PUBLISHER: Technos DEVELOPER: Million GENRE: Beat-em-up/RPG RELEASE DATE: January 1990 Alex and Ryan are your average high school students. They love gel in their … Continue reading #525 – River City Ransom
#522 – Renegade
Never pick on a guy who obviously lifts weights. Pink ninjas? Now I’ve seen everything. PLAYERS: 1-2 alternating PUBLISHER: Taito DEVELOPER: Million GENRE: Beat-em-up RELEASE DATE: January 1988 Renegade might star my beloved Kunio-kun (see: River City Ransom, Nintendo World Cup, Crash ‘N The Boys), and be one … Continue reading #522 – Renegade
#474 – Phantom Fighter
Phantom Fighter now has its own fruit snacks, complete with Banana Heroes and Strawberry Kyonshi! Are the enemies’ hops supposed to be intimidating? It’s more pathetic than scary. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: FCI DEVELOPER: Marionette GENRE: Beat-em-up RELEASE DATE: April 1990 Kyonshi Fighter doesn’t sound as cool as Phantom … Continue reading #474 – Phantom Fighter
#464 – P.O.W.: Prisoners of War
What a tease! Prisoners of War isn’t two-player at all! Look at all those spare knives just laying there, begging to be thrown at someone! PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: SNK DEVELOPER: SNK GENRE: Beat-em-up RELEASE DATE: September 1989 SNK have a real obsession with war, don’t they? They’ve developed … Continue reading #464 – P.O.W.: Prisoners of War
#422 – Mighty Final Fight
In a world without necks, these warriors fight to see who has the coolest shoes. Don’t call that room number expecting a good time. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Capcom DEVELOPER: Capcom GENRE: Beat-em-up RELEASE DATE: July 1993 How mighty can three chibi characters be, you ask? Still thy tongue, … Continue reading #422 – Mighty Final Fight
#297 – Ikari III: The Rescue
Punk rockers try to take down a steel mill in the “questionable” part of town. Not on Paul and Vince’s watch! Six guys?! Paul can spin kick them in his sleep. Bring out fifteen guys, then maybe he’ll sweat a little. PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: SNK DEVELOPER: SNK GENRE: Beat-em-up RELEASE … Continue reading #297 – Ikari III: The Rescue