Tag Archives: Licensed

#98 – Bram Stoker’s Dracula

  I’m not sure what the background is supposed to be. A skeleton in a rocking chair with a Pharoah hat on?                                                                                                                                       Get the coin, Mario-er, Renfield!   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Sony Imagesoft DEVELOPER: Psygnosis GENRE: Platformer RELEASE DATE: September 1993   Back in the early 90’s, nobody gave a “guldurn” when … Continue reading #98 – Bram Stoker’s Dracula

#84 – Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure

                                                                                                                                                                                       Uh…                                   It’s actually a phone-dialing simulator. People had a lot of mental problems in the early 90s.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: LJN DEVELOPER: Rocket Science Games GENRE: Action RELEASE DATE: August 1991   I know next to nothing about Bill, Ted, or the “excellent” adventures they went on. I’m pretty … Continue reading #84 – Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure

#77 – Beetlejuice

                                                                                                                                                                                     ::sigh::                                                                                                                                         This is as far as sane people get.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: LJN DEVELOPER: Rare GENRE: Platformer RELEASE DATE: May 1991   It astounds me that LJN ever made enough money to purchase movie licenses so that they could produce crappy movie games time and time again. Who bought … Continue reading #77 – Beetlejuice

#69 – Batman Returns

                                               The Penguin resembles a man who would use the word “dickety” without shame.                                                                                                              No foolin’. This is about as action packed as it gets.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Konami DEVELOPER: Konami GENRE: Beat-em-up RELEASE DATE: January 1993   In the summer of 1992, at the tender age of seven, Batman … Continue reading #69 – Batman Returns

#67 – Batman

                                                                                                                                              This game needs an enema!                                                                    Remember when you first wall-jumped? What a thrilling feeling that was!   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: SunSoft DEVELOPER: SunSoft GENRE: Platformer RELEASE DATE: February 1990   Even in 1989, there was no such thing as a “good” movie-licensed game. Perhaps one or two existed somewhere on … Continue reading #67 – Batman

#47 – Back to the Future

                                                                                                                                                    This cover is nothing but lies.                                                                                                                 The glass those men are carrying is in the future.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: LJN DEVELOPER: Beam Software GENRE: Action RELEASE DATE: September 1989   Times are hard, guys. We’re in the middle of a recession; gas prices keep going up; and the best … Continue reading #47 – Back to the Future

#37 – American Gladiators

  Only in America can two men in tights compete atop puffy mushrooms to see whose genitalia is the largest.                                                                                                                                       Can you scale the wall? I couldn’t.   PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Gametek DEVELOPER: Incredible Technologies GENRE: Action sports RELEASE DATE: October 1991   Even as a young child, the concept of … Continue reading #37 – American Gladiators

#8/9 – The Addams Family/Pugsley’s Scavenger Hunt

                                                                                                                                       Ah, thank you, Thing.        Nothing’s scarier than a frolic out in “The Garden.”   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Ocean DEVELOPER: Ocean GENRE: Platformer RELEASE DATE: January 1992   The Addams Family is the epitome of average, a side-scroller that doubles as a collect-a-thon. You play as Gomez, the patriarch of the Addamses, … Continue reading #8/9 – The Addams Family/Pugsley’s Scavenger Hunt