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#382 – M.U.S.C.L.E.

Tag Team Wrestling x Spelling Lessons.
Chubby Cherub grows up, lifts weights, pounds fools into dust.
Quite the unfair match-up.

PUBLISHER: Bandai

DEVELOPER: TOSE

GENRE: Wrestling

RELEASE DATE: October 1986

M.U.S.C.L.E. stands for Most Unusually Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere. It isn’t the most apt description for a wrestling game starring the masked, uh, things from “Ultimate Muscle” but it does make me chuckle to myself. While the character designs are great (Ramen Man! Meat!), the gameplay is little more than button-mashing the same moves into oblivion. ‘B’ is jump, ‘A’ is punch, and, as expected, there are a very small amount of moves you can do by combining those two buttons. Your energy bar goes down slowly of its own volition, but if you get hit, it obviously goes down faster. If you hit the opposing wrestler, you regain some health, and the sweaty dance continues. Every ten or fifteen seconds, a glowing orb comes into the ring. Getting the orb will be the key to your success in any match. Your body begins to glow and you unlock a special move that will dominate the other character. It’s cheap, yes, but incredibly satisfying when you get it. If you don’t get the orb, though, watch out. The computer will wreck shop/clean house/mop the floor with your Most Unusually Small Creature body. The wrestling is fun for a time, especially with two players, but don’t come here looking for depth. MUSCLE is all flash, no substance.

C+

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2 replies on “#382 – M.U.S.C.L.E.”

Still the best wrestling game on the NES.

Doesn&#039t hurt that M.U.S.C.L.E. as a series is still alive today, proving that it had enough cool factor even back then.

Most wrestling games good or bad suffer from repetitiveness and are fairly short-lived. I actually took the proper time to experience every move in the game. Some had crazy grappling moves, some had stronger/flashier direct hits and THAT ONE ASSHOLE MILITARY LOOKING GUY HAD FIREBREATH. Asshole.

In my opinion, the best wrestling game on the NES was WCW, where every character had a moveset and distinct finisher, and actually looked like the real guys, and the advent of Turbo controllers fixed the “kicking/punching before attacking” problem too.

Speaking of this game, yeah that military guy sure is a nuisance, lol… Thankfully his attack causes only one unit of damge, whereas Kid muscle&#039s finisher is like the toughest to execute but takes away four f**king units!

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