Not in my blessed house.
RELEASE DATE: December 1988
What confused person greenlit a licensed game based off of “Platoon”? Oliver Stone’s insane Vietnam epic might make for a good film, but anyone with a cursory understanding of “Platoon” would argue that there’s not much of a game within. And here we are! Ocean’s Platoon is a series of mazes in which one must escape, and while escaping, kill as many Vietcong as possible. Your character starts off where he should, in the depths of the Vietnam jungle, where any turn can lead to death. Vietcong come from everywhere to kill you: the trees, the ground, right in front of your face, anywhere you can imagine. You’re allowed four shots before you’re dead and four lives before it’s game over. After you escape from the jungle, you venture to the sewers for more confusion. Once you emerge from the sewers, it’s time to get lost in even more jungle, except this tour, there’s a time limit. With enough time, ample amounts of grit, and a couple scratch pieces of paper, you can deduce what paths to take to reach the end of each area. But there’s no incentive to do so. Navigating ridiculously plotted mazes isn’t enjoyable in the least, and that is ninety percent of Platoon. I also felt guilty knowing that I was virtually killing Vietcong; sounds silly unless you’re actually playing the game. Which, if this review hasn’t made it clear already, you really, really shouldn’t.