#154 – Crystal Mines

Totally legal!

PLAYERS: 1-2 alternating

PUBLISHER: Color Dreams

DEVELOPER: Color Dreams

GENRE: Puzzle

RELEASE DATE: 1989

Crystal Mines is possibly the best game I’ve ever played starring ROB the Robot. What’s that, you say? The game is made by Color Dreams, not Nintendo?! Then Crystal Mines is the best Color Dreams game I’ve ever played starring ROB the Robot. There’s something oddly appealing about collecting blue crystals in mine level after mine level while avoiding oversized Gingerbread Men . Yes, your weaponry is limited to a pea shooter and some aptly named TNT bombs, but dad blast it, the game works in an utterly simplistic way. Blast rocks, shoot silt, blow up delicious humanoid pastries, all in the name of blue bling you can wear around your chest, and possibly, form into a grill or three. C’mon, you really think ROB is the good guy here? ROB is the taskmaster. The blue crystals are blood crystals from Africa. The Gingerbread Men represent slaves. The game is made by Color Dreams. Crystal Mines is a not-so-subtle commentary on the blood diamond trade, hence why the game is unlicensed. Nintendo doesn’t want to support political games, even if one of their early peripherals is the main character. Play it Loud? More like Play it Safe.

B-