Racketeering Beer Indignation is the name of my new punk band.
The chances of that man with rickets catching the ball? 100%
PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous
RELEASE DATE: 1991
Rampant Bowel Indicators? Rancid Broccoli Ideology? Or, as one of my astute readers commented yesterday, Really Boring Individual? Inquiring minds need to know what R.B.I. stands for. Luckily for you, I’ve scoured the depths of Google and discovered that R.B.I. means “run batted in.” “Run batted in?” That’s a grammatical nightmare and doesn’t explain anything. Further scouring revealed more obtuse definitions for those without a doctorate in Baseball-logy. Finally, Sportsdefinitions.com gave a satisfactory, easily understandable answer: “Awarded to a batter who puts the ball in play and causes one or more runners to score.” With this new knowledge tucked gently into the corridors of my brain’s library (the sports section is pretty small so it’ll be easy to remember), I picked up R.B.I. Baseball 3 hoping for new insights and a fresh perspective. What I got was the 1990 roster, slightly more realistic looking baseball players, and a day-old danish; the latter was the final outrage. As a person who appreciates the impact of sports but doesn’t care for them in the least, I do not understand releasing a middling roster update as a whole new game (especially with DLC and the like). Add new features! Brighten up the graphics! Do something other than regurgitating the same old everything! Yes, there’s the ability to play as post-season teams from ’83-89, but that doesn’t change the game. I’m glad R.B.I. Baseball 3 still plays well, but once again, I can’t recommend it. Unless you’re a collector or completionist, embrace the charming first game and forget about its unlicensed brethren.
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