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#735 – World Games

Let’s see how this plays out.
“With our powers combined, we could rule this world!”
The pelican watches the stupid man with great interest.

PLAYERS: 1

PUBLISHER: Milton Bradley

DEVELOPER: Epyx (Ported by Rare)

GENRE: Sports

RELEASE DATE: March 1989

World Games may have united gamers from all nations when it debuted in ’86 for the Commodore 64, but the NES port is as distasteful as a Sochi hotel room.

There are eight events to choose from, attempt to learn, then condemn, in that order: Weight Lifting, Barrel Jumping, Cliff Diving, Slalom Skiing, Log Rolling, Bull Riding, Caber Toss, and Sumo Wrestling. That’s quite a variety, and the game gives some nice history about each sport prior to playing it. Unfortunately, most of the events have precise-to-a-fault controls, to the point where you’ll be replaying them more out of a determination to accomplish anything than to win.

On Bull Riding, for example, you press the D-pad in the direction the bull is bucking, then when the bull starts to twirl, press ‘Down.’ If you stay on for eight seconds, you’ll win the gold medal, but good luck accomplishing that much. Also, there’s no way of knowing what you’re doing wrong. The game gives no hints or corrections, just a “Try Again” slap in the face. Slalom Skiing – where you ski in between poles on a downhill slope – has the worst control scheme. Tap ‘Left’ and ‘Right’ on the D-pad gingerly as you make your way through the course. Too much jabbing in one direction or the other will make you turn sideways, throw off your groove, and make you miss poles.

Not all events are that misguided, however. Log Rolling and Barrel Jumping are easy to learn and difficult to master, which is how the entire game should have been. World Games’ perfectionist demands might resemble what real Olympic champions have to endure before they even reach the games. At least in the real Games, though, athletes have a chance to win a medal and have their names written in the history books. In World Games‘, the grueling process isn’t worth the payoff.

D+

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7 replies on “#735 – World Games”

Let&#039s be honest though, next to winter games this is incredible. Winter games… You will forever haunt my nightmares

Winter games had that tron-tastic cover though, that made it look as if it could actually be fun. The cover for world games is just freaky. I do love how Nintendo&#039s seal has been cleverly placed over that gentleman&#039s bum though. That&#039s either some really homo-erotic subliminal messaging (after all it is the seal of quality.. 😉 or just unnecessary censorship

Yeah, true dat. I&#039ve never understood why they were so strict about nudity and smoking and what not, but they allowed religious iconography. Plus they released that SaGa game for the Game Boy (under the name final fantasy legend), and you actually fight the Judaea-Christian God at the end. Well he&#039s just called “The creator”, but he uses attacks like “righteous wrath”, so it&#039s pretty clear who it&#039s supposed to be. Lol so try don&#039t want kids seeing athlete butts, but killing god is okay!! Lol

But in that game, it&#039s not THE God, it&#039s that world&#039s god. THE God clearly would not build a tower and challenge us to reach the top…quite the opposite, according to the story of Babel… 😉

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