#342 – King’s Knight

  At least Square didn’t try to “Americanize” this cover with some beefy hunk and scantily clad bikini babe, although “action-adventure” is a real stretch.     This screenshot is obtuse, so allow me to explain: you’re an old man, perhaps in Greece, shooting at evil mythical creatures.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Squaresoft DEVELOPER: Bits … Continue reading #342 – King’s Knight

#341 – King of Kings – The Early Years

                                                                                                                                                                  The original cover…     … and the alternate cover. My guess is sales were slow, so Wisdom Tree tried to make the game look more action-packed. Hah!   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Wisdom Tree DEVELOPER: Wisdom Tree GENRE: Action RELEASE DATE: 1991   What blasphemy is this that was born from the bowels … Continue reading #341 – King of Kings – The Early Years

#340 – King Neptune’s Adventure

                                                                                           Fu Manchu is King Neptune in King Neptune’s Adventure                                                                                I’m gonna label this picture with a big, fat “Ugh” and leave it at that.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Color Dreams DEVELOPER: Color Dreams GENRE: Action/Adventure RELEASE DATE: 1990   I’d say King Neptune deserves better than this, but in all … Continue reading #340 – King Neptune’s Adventure

#339 – Kid Niki: Radical Ninja

                                                  Kid Niki, in no way, resembles this mullet-driven beefcake. A pox on this cover!                                                                                                                    … Continue reading #339 – Kid Niki: Radical Ninja

#338 – Kid Kool and the Quest for the Seven Wonder Herbs

  Warning: the game is not nearly as American and stupid looking as it may appear. Nor does Kid Kool resemble Kid Chameleon in any way.                              He may look like he’s walking on sunshine, but he’s actually knee deep in Bantha poodoo.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Vic Tokai DEVELOPER: Vic Tokai GENRE: … Continue reading #338 – Kid Kool and the Quest for the Seven Wonder Herbs

#337 – Kid Klown in Night Mayor World

                                                  You’d be forgiven for thinking this was the alternate cover for “Shakes the Clown.”                                                                                                                                                                Hoot! Hoot, he says!   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Kemco DEVELOPER: Kemco GENRE: Platformer RELEASE DATE: April 1993   I was worried that playing this game would give me nightmares (not “night mayors” – der hur), as … Continue reading #337 – Kid Klown in Night Mayor World

#336 – Kid Icarus

                                                                                                           Pit’s got a little bit of a creeper smile going on.                                                                                                                     Pit stacks his hearts like we stack our bills.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Nintendo DEVELOPER: Nintendo GENRE: Action/adventure RELEASE DATE: July 1987   Kid Icarus, like the original Zelda and Metroid before it, required too much from me as … Continue reading #336 – Kid Icarus

#335 – Kickle Cubicle

                                                                 Irem couldn’t have chosen a more disturbing cover for a really fun game.                                                                                               If you succeed, you’ll be decorated with a circle of carrots.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Irem DEVELOPER: Irem GENRE: Puzzle RELEASE DATE: September 1990   If it wasn’t for my beloved Lolo series, Kickle Cubicle would have … Continue reading #335 – Kickle Cubicle

#334 – KickMaster

                                Kicking an ethereal witch in space is a lot harder than it looks. Hence the closed-eye scream.                                                                                                                                Kick… kick… kick with all your might!   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Taito DEVELOPER: Kid GENRE: Action RELEASE DATE: January 1992   If the shoe doesn’t fit… kick it off because you’re the KickMaster! … Continue reading #334 – KickMaster

#333 – Karnov

                                                                          Karnov smashes through every single era of time with his Iron Fists!                                                                            When Karnov aches, he turns blue. No amount of ‘K’s will cure him.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Data East DEVELOPER: SAS Sakata GENRE: Platformer RELEASE DATE: January 1988   Karnov is a soulless, heartless brute of a game, … Continue reading #333 – Karnov

#332 – The Karate Kid

                              Master the Martial Arts! Apparently, in LJN’s fractured worldview, there’s only one kind.                                                                                                                                                          Go ninja, go ninja, GO! PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous/alternating PUBLISHER: LJN DEVELOPER: Atlus GENRE: Platformer/Action RELEASE DATE: November 1987   The Karate Kid was one of LJN’s first attempts to destroy a beloved movie franchise, and to that … Continue reading #332 – The Karate Kid

#331 – Karate Champ

                                                                                               For better or for worse, this image sums up the game.                                                                                                                                                         It’s a Muppet Jamboree!   PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Data East DEVELOPER: SAS Sakata GENRE: Fighting RELEASE DATE: November 1986   More like Karate Chump, amirite brahs? I don’t care if Karate Champ was one of the first … Continue reading #331 – Karate Champ