#583 – Snake’s Revenge

                                                                                          Snake’s got his silencer aimed at the female assassin.                                                                            There’s spotlights now, because that’s what you’ve always wanted.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Ultra DEVELOPER: Konami GENRE: Action/adventure RELEASE DATE: April 1990   “Metal GEEEEAAAAR?” Well, yes and no. Snake’s Revenge is the unofficial North American/European sequel to the first Metal … Continue reading #583 – Snake’s Revenge

#582 – Snake Rattle ‘n Roll

                                                                                                                 These snakes have herped their last derp.                                                                                                                 Now I’ve seen it all.   PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Nintendo DEVELOPER: Rare GENRE: Arcade RELEASE DATE: July 1990   Kudos to Rare for making a bat-guano crazy Marble Madness sequel that skimps on the marbles in favor of cartoon snakes. You play as … Continue reading #582 – Snake Rattle ‘n Roll

#581 – Smash T.V.

                                                                                      Go on, readers, you can make fun of this cover by yourselves.                                            I didn’t realize all of Smash T.V.‘s enemies were Communistas, and robots at that.   PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: Beam Entertainment GENRE: Arcade RELEASE DATE: September 1991   Violent game shows: the scourge of civilization in … Continue reading #581 – Smash T.V.

#580 – Slalom

  Slalom might be one of the last black box games, and the only black box title not developed by Nintendo at that!                                                                                  Should I be happy or concerned that I crossed the finish line?   PLAYERS: 1-2 alternating PUBLISHER: Nintendo DEVELOPER: Rare GENRE: Skiing RELEASE DATE: August 1987   Rare began … Continue reading #580 – Slalom

#579 – Sky Shark

                                                       What young child wouldn’t want a game with a terrifying man on the cover?                                                              No enemies around, big plane ahead. Everything’s comin’ up Sky Shark!   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Taito DEVELOPER: Software Creations GENRE: Shoot-em-up RELEASE DATE: September 1989   Would you like to know how difficult Sky Shark is? … Continue reading #579 – Sky Shark

#578 – Sky Kid

                   Charles Lindbergh looks for work, finds it on the Sky Kid cover, laments that he is no longer a child.                                                                                                                          “Authentic Arcade Edition” you say? PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Sunsoft DEVELOPER: Namco GENRE: Arcade RELEASE DATE: September 1987   Put some grease in your garter, Sky Kid! Or is it, … Continue reading #578 – Sky Kid

#577 – Skull & Crossbones

                                                                                                                “Yargh, I hate the sea and everything in it!”                                               Billowy pantaloons are good for one’s health, according to every 15th century doctor.   PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Tengen DEVELOPER: Tengen GENRE: Arcade RELEASE DATE: 1990   After a few years of being employed as a pirate, one could imagine that … Continue reading #577 – Skull & Crossbones

#576 – Ski or Die

                                                                                                                                                               It’s a snow-nado, bro!                                                                                                                                         The Extreme Polar Bears Club   PLAYERS: 1-6 alternating PUBLISHER: Ultra Games DEVELOPER: Konami GENRE: Minigames RELEASE DATE: February 1991   According to Ski or Die, snow melts skaters’ edgy, hardcore exteriors into a warm, child-like playfulness. Free of a need to be “hip” or “with … Continue reading #576 – Ski or Die

#575 – Skate or Die 2: The Search for Double Trouble

                                                                                                                                   Bro gets his kicks in a mall. Radical!                                                                                                If only skateboards were still allowed in malls today.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Electronic Arts DEVELOPER: Konami GENRE: Skating RELEASE DATE: December 1990   You think you know fear? Try taking down the mayor’s wife with a paint gun without thrashing and … Continue reading #575 – Skate or Die 2: The Search for Double Trouble

#574 – Skate or Die

                                                                                                                                               She said, “See you later boy.”            A couple amateur skaters, eager for Monster endorsements, got a date with Mother Road Rash instead.   PLAYERS: 1-8 (alternating) PUBLISHER: Ultra Games DEVELOPER: Konami GENRE: Skating RELEASE DATE: December 1988   Skateboarding games didn’t become a popular genre until the Tony Hawk series … Continue reading #574 – Skate or Die

#573 – The Simpsons: Bartman Meets Radioactive Man

                                                                                             Everybody, if you can, refrain from doing the Bartman.                                         This is how I felt these last couple days playing these Simpsons games: cold, isolated, alone.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: Imagineering GENRE: Platformer RELEASE DATE: December 1992   The final platformer in the “Is Nothing Sacred?” Simpsons NES trilogy, … Continue reading #573 – The Simpsons: Bartman Meets Radioactive Man

#572 – The Simpsons: Bart Vs. The World

                                                                                                        Marge ice skating with the penguins is brilliant.                                                                                                                                                           Poor misshapen Bart.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: Imagineering GENRE: Platformer RELEASE DATE: December 1991   Less than a year after the atrocity that was Bart Vs. The Space Mutants comes Bart Vs. The World, a slightly better, if still underwhelming … Continue reading #572 – The Simpsons: Bart Vs. The World

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