#483 – Popeye

  The “Arcade Series”: lonely shmuck collecting points for no reason whatsoever. It’s like looking into a mirror!                                                                                                                                                                           Suck on that, Bluto!   PLAYERS: 1-2 alternating PUBLISHER: Nintendo DEVELOPER: Nintendo GENRE: Arcade RELEASE DATE: June 1986   Olive Oyl might be the most obnoxious damsel-in-distress ever. She’s loud, she’s rail-thin, and she’s … Continue reading #483 – Popeye

#482 – Platoon

                                                                                                                                                                                             Uh… really?                                                                                            Maybe you should get going, game. You ever think of that?   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: SunSoft DEVELOPER: Ocean GENRE: Action/adventure RELEASE DATE: December 1988   What confused person green lit a licensed game based off of “Platoon”? Oliver Stone’s insane Vietnam epic might make for a good film, … Continue reading #482 – Platoon

#481 – Pirates!

                                                                                       Skeletons can grow beards?! Who says games don’t teach?                                                                                                                                                                                   I am so angry!   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Ultra Games DEVELOPER: Rare GENRE: Strategy RELEASE DATE: October 1991   The NES continues to surprise with this smashing port of the 1987 Commodore 64 game, Sid Meier’s Pirates!. Typically, computer ports on … Continue reading #481 – Pirates!

#480 – Pipe Dream

                                                                                                                                                    Doesn’t that look appetizing.                                                                           All my pipe dreams are about to be washed away in a sea of flooz!   PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Bullet-proof Software DEVELOPER: Distinctive Software GENRE: Puzzle RELEASE DATE: September 1990   If you can see in four dimensions and relish the thought of connecting pipes … Continue reading #480 – Pipe Dream

#85 – Bill Elliott’s NASCAR Challenge

                                                           Mr. Elliott is holding what fraternity brothers like to call, an American stein.                                                                                                                                          Gimme one reason to stay here…   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Konami DEVELOPER: Distinctive Software GENRE: Racing sim RELEASE DATE: April 1991   I can understand why someone would want to be a NASCAR driver: millions of dollars, … Continue reading #85 – Bill Elliott’s NASCAR Challenge

#478 – Pinball Quest

                                                                                                                                                         What’s your pinball fantasy?                                                                                                   Pinball Quest scores bonus points for delicious puns.                                                                                                                                                                                “Ow, my face!”   PLAYERS: 1-4 alternating PUBLISHER: Jaleco DEVELOPER: TOSE GENRE: Pinball RELEASE DATE: June 1990   If you only bow down before one Pinball King on the NES, please, make it Pinball Quest. … Continue reading #478 – Pinball Quest

#477 – Pinball

                           Mario decided for the orange-and-blue ensemble. I want to know where he got orange shoes…                                                                                              The top half of the table, complete with marine animals!                                                                                             The bottom half of the table. Baby ducks equal stoppers!   PLAYERS: 1-2 alternating PUBLISHER: Nintendo DEVELOPER: Nintendo GENRE: Pinball RELEASE DATE: … Continue reading #477 – Pinball

#476 – Pin Bot

                                                                                                                                                 You heard the box! Dare him!                                                                                           303,000 points, my eye! I’ll dance on Pin Bot’s grave!   PLAYERS: 1-4 alternating PUBLISHER: Nintendo DEVELOPER: Rare GENRE: Pinball RELEASE DATE: April 1990   No amount of hand exercises or Seventies instructional videos will make me good at Actual Pinball, but I’ve been … Continue reading #476 – Pin Bot

#475 – Pictionary

                                               You’ll need excessive amounts of power to want to play this version of “Pictionary.”                                                                                                                                                                                   Heh heh heh…     Remember when you played “Pictionary” and you had to rescue people from a burning building? What a mirthful evening that was!   PLAYERS: 1-2 PUBLISHER: LJN DEVELOPER: Software Creations GENRE: Board … Continue reading #475 – Pictionary

#474 – Phantom Fighter

          Phantom Fighter now has its own fruit snacks, complete with Banana Heroes and Strawberry Kyonshi!                                                Are the enemies’ hops supposed to be intimidating? It’s more pathetic than scary.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: FCI DEVELOPER: Marionette GENRE: Beat-em-up RELEASE DATE: April 1990   Kyonshi Fighter doesn’t sound as cool as Phantom … Continue reading #474 – Phantom Fighter

#473 – Pesterminator: The Western Exterminator

                                                                                                                    “Hey! I’m trying to eat lunch here!” – Rat                                                                                                                    See any bugs?… than I’ve done my job.   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Color Dreams DEVELOPER: Color Dreams GENRE: Platformer RELEASE DATE: 1990   If you’ve ever had a spider crawl into your mouth while you sleep, or lines of ants enter … Continue reading #473 – Pesterminator: The Western Exterminator

#472 – Peek-A-Boo Poker

                                                                                                        Hey! Aren’t you the girls from Bubble Bath Babes?!                                                                                It’s the hottest poker game of all time. No, really. Can’t you tell?   PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Panesian DEVELOPER: Panesian GENRE: Cardgames RELEASE DATE: 1991   Unlike other 8-bit, uh, “erotica” by Panesian (see Bubble Bath Babes and Hot Slots), Peek-A-Boo … Continue reading #472 – Peek-A-Boo Poker