We’re calling out the big guns: Gandalf, Robin Hood, and the, uh… Prince of Persia. Surely those green gargoyles don’t enjoy being used as platforms. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: Rare GENRE: Adventure RELEASE DATE: March 1992 Nah, I didn’t forget to review Wizards & Warriors II. Here … Continue reading #731 – Wizards & Warriors III: Kuros: Visions of Power
I tell you, my locks will not be tamed! Kuros is hot-blooded, but there’s no need to check and see. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: Rare GENRE: Platformer RELEASE DATE: December 1987 If you were a knight at the dawning of the age of Aquarius, you might act … Continue reading #730 – Wizards & Warriors
Computer World. Enjoy the attention while it lasts, honey. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: Atelier Double GENRE: Minigames RELEASE DATE: September 1987 The best part about Winter Games might be the snazzy retro box art. Look at it! It feels Kraftwerkian in its color choice of deep blue … Continue reading #727 – Winter Games
In the arcade, Trog! had claymation graphics and was playable with 4 players… … but this is definitely not the case in the NES version. PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: Visual Concepts GENRE: Arcade RELEASE DATE: October 1991 If you like your Pac-Man clones smothered in a … Continue reading #684 – Trog!
Arnold wants his mind back. Who are you to resist? “You should not drink and bake!” PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: Interplay GENRE: Action RELEASE DATE: August 1990 Total Recall has an infamous reputation for being one of the worst games of all time. Not just on the … Continue reading #677 – Total Recall
Strangely serene painting for the cover of a shoot-em-up. I blame the sunset. Don’t drink the water. PLAYERS: 1-2 alternating PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: Micronics GENRE: Shoot-em-up RELEASE DATE: September 1987 Tiger-Heli is often confused as Tiger Hell, though the latter is another concept altogether. The game is a … Continue reading #662 – Tiger-Heli
Bringing the hotness. Goblins are known for shanking ’round these parts. PLAYERS: 1-4 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: Interplay GENRE: RPG RELEASE DATE: August 1990 The NES really wasn’t built for first-person RPGs. Games such as Might and Magic and The Bard’s Tale were ambitious, clunky computer ports that … Continue reading #634 – Swords and Serpents
Almost… out of… QUARTERS!!! Have fun with that. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: ASCII Entertainment GENRE: Action/Sim RELEASE DATE: September 1987 In place of a game with actual gameplay, Star Voyager presents needless complexity and little else. All of the tasks it requires of you – view a … Continue reading #606 – Star Voyager
Go on, readers, you can make fun of this cover by yourselves. I didn’t realize all of Smash T.V.‘s enemies were Communistas, and robots at that. PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: Beam Entertainment GENRE: Arcade RELEASE DATE: September 1991 Violent game shows: the scourge of civilization in … Continue reading #581 – Smash T.V.
Everybody, if you can, refrain from doing the Bartman. This is how I felt these last couple days playing these Simpsons games: cold, isolated, alone. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: Imagineering GENRE: Platformer RELEASE DATE: December 1992 The final platformer in the “Is Nothing Sacred?” Simpsons NES trilogy, … Continue reading #573 – The Simpsons: Bartman Meets Radioactive Man
Marge ice skating with the penguins is brilliant. Poor misshapen Bart. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: Imagineering GENRE: Platformer RELEASE DATE: December 1991 Less than a year after the atrocity that was Bart Vs. The Space Mutants comes Bart Vs. The World, a slightly better, if still underwhelming … Continue reading #572 – The Simpsons: Bart Vs. The World
Sorry Bart, I believe I will have a cow. Bart ponders the significance of space mutants jumping in front of a “Space Mutants 4” poster. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Acclaim DEVELOPER: Imagineering GENRE: Action/Puzzle RELEASE DATE: February 1991 For the first few years of the Simpsons’ television existence, the … Continue reading #571 – The Simpsons: Bart Vs. The Space Mutants