Don’t ever hand someone a firecracker next to an open sewer. The moral of Urban Champion is, street violence should be rewarded with confetti. PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Nintendo DEVELOPER: Nintendo GENRE: Arcade RELEASE DATE: June 1986 Two nameless hoodlums drop everything to brawl. They stand on either … Continue reading #700 – Urban Champion
PROTIP: “Arcade hit!” didn’t always mean “NES hit!” Only Round 1?… *sigh* PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Data East DEVELOPER: SAS Sakata GENRE: Wrestling RELEASE DATE: October 1986 “Tag Team Wrestling is some archaic wrestling action, action, action!” but if it were up to me, I’d remove two of … Continue reading #638 – Tag Team Wrestling
Be warned: Mario is luring you into the game with his happy-go-lucky smile. At least the clouds are happy, right? Right?! PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Nintendo DEVELOPER: Nintendo GENRE: Platformer RELEASE DATE: June 1986 Busta Rhymes once asked, “Are you prepared?” Small pause. “I hope you are prepared.” I … Continue reading BONUS ROUND – Super Mario Bros. 2 (JP) a.k.a. The Lost Levels (US and EU)
So very right. So very wrong. PLAYERS: 1-2 alternating PUBLISHER: Nintendo DEVELOPER: Nintendo GENRE: Platformer RELEASE DATE: 1986 (a slightly altered version of this article appeared on GoozerNation.com in December 2011) The original Super Mario Bros. changed gaming history, which is why it’s interesting that several different/alternate versions of the … Continue reading BONUS ROUND – All Night Nippon Super Mario Bros. (JP ONLY)
The “Arcade Series”: lonely shmuck collecting points for no reason whatsoever. It’s like looking into a mirror! Suck on that, Bluto! PLAYERS: 1-2 alternating PUBLISHER: Nintendo DEVELOPER: Nintendo GENRE: Arcade RELEASE DATE: June 1986 Olive Oyl might be the most obnoxious damsel-in-distress ever. She’s loud, she’s rail-thin, and she’s … Continue reading #483 – Popeye
Throwing a shuriken (even a poorly drawn one) at the television is never a good idea, kids. See those candles? Spark ’em with your flame buddy to ditch this catacomb. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Bandai DEVELOPER: TOSE GENRE: Arcade platformer RELEASE DATE: October 1986 Ninja Kid would be downright … Continue reading #451 – Ninja Kid
Over 3/4 of a million disappointed Japanese children. This, Milon, is an alien. Blow a bubble on him and he will get out of your way. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Hudson Soft DEVELOPER: Hudson Soft GENRE: Action/adventure RELEASE DATE: 1986 I was entirely prepared to hate Milon’s Secret Castle, … Continue reading #426 – Milon’s Secret Castle
I’m assuming Nintendo went with the gray box since Metroid was such a dark game. Still, I miss the black box. It’s only the beginning. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Nintendo DEVELOPER: Nintendo GENRE: Action/Adventure RELEASE DATE: August 1986 If Super Mario Bros was the charming, happy-go-lucky platformer designed to sell … Continue reading #423 – Metroid
I still don’t understand Nintendo of America’s need to replace the original goofy Mario Bros. Mario with the Super Mario Bros. Mario sprite. Continuity, sure, but it’s cooler to see how the character evolved. This is more like it. Ah, sweet Famicom covers. When sewers strike back… … Continue reading #395 – Mario Bros.
Ultimate Muscleruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!! Methinks this match is a little unfair. PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Bandai DEVELOPER: TOSE GENRE: Wrestling RELEASE DATE: October 1986 M.U.S.C.L.E. stands for Most Unusually Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere. It isn’t the most apt description for a wrestling game starring the masked, uh, things from “Ultimate Muscle” … Continue reading #382 – M.U.S.C.L.E.
For better or for worse, this image sums up the game. It’s a Muppet Jamboree! PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous PUBLISHER: Data East DEVELOPER: SAS Sakata GENRE: Fighting RELEASE DATE: November 1986 More like Karate Chump, amirite brahs? I don’t care if Karate Champ was one of the first … Continue reading #331 – Karate Champ
Godzilla’s got it in for the gumshoe. Return the diamonds to South Africa lest Congo Jack come and tear you a new gumshoe. PLAYERS: 1 PUBLISHER: Nintendo DEVELOPER: Nintendo GENRE: Light gun RELEASE DATE: June 1986 A quick confession: I’m playing all of these Zapper games with my … Continue reading #273 – Gumshoe