#285 – Home Alone

From the makers of The Elder Scrolls series.

PLAYERS: 1

PUBLISHER: THQ

DEVELOPER: Bethesda Softworks

GENRE: Adventure

RELEASE DATE: October 1991

Funny story. Bethesda Softworks developed Home Alone for the NES. Yes, that Bethesda Softworks of Elder Scrolls and Fallout fame. Everyone has to start off somewhere, I suppose, and I’m sure they made a handsome amount of money simply for agreeing to develop the game. I’m also sure they used less than five percent of that money to actually make the game. Home Alone is one of the worst games I’ve barely been able to play for the NES. That statement includes any and all LJN titles.

I used the phrase “barely able to play.” That’s because one so much does not play Home Alone as one either succumbs to the monotonous madness contained within, or one removes the game and destroys it. Either way, there is very little “play” involved. You control Kevin and wander around the house for twenty minutes, picking up traps and dropping traps when Harry and Marv, the two bumbling bad guys, get too close to you. They are almost always too close to you because they’re bigger and faster than you and they always seem to know where you are. If you get caught, oops, you lose! If you manage to stay away from them for twenty minutes, the cops eventually pick them up and the game is over. How’s that for a Christmas away from your loved ones?

To be fair, Bethesda has come a long way, if only because they use actual talent to make their games now. They still release buggy games, sure, but at least there’s a game underneath all the game-breaking glitches. And they can be fun when they work! Still, I wonder how many Christmases they ruined with Home Alone back in 1991. At some point, Bethesda needs to be held accountable.

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