Go get you some.
The treacherous Waffle Crossing of yore!
PLAYERS: 1-2 simultaneous
RELEASE DATE: 1991
Leave it to Codemasters, the masters of unlicensing things, to pick up the license for Micro Machines, then make it into an unlicensed game. LICENSES, HOW DO THEY WORK! But thank God we have Micro Machines at all, and that it’s as fun as it is. Besides the ever-present squelchy music that is characteristic of most of Codemasters’ work, and the bizarre-looking drivers to choose from (did the artist not know what real people looked like, or were they just hoping to terrify the players?), Micro Machines really does hit that sweet spot of racing for me; pre-Super Mario Kart, this and RC-Pro Am are the racing games that can’t be beat (sorry, Mr. Andretti). Jeeps, tanks (complete with weaponry), sports cars, turbo wheels, among others are all represented, and all handle differently. The tracks are cleverly constructed to reinforce the fact that, yes, you are indeed racing Micro Machines. Navigating around breakfast fixins, incomplete homework, and messy billiard tables are all in a day’s work for savvy racers like Dwayne and Jethro (ugh, not all Americans are mentally handicapped, Codemasters). I do wish that the vehicles weren’t so quick to accelerate at times, but I can’t argue with the overall solid controls. Oh, that all racing games felt this solid, especially when the game switches between a wide variety of vehicles. Racing small toy cars against other small toy cars in real-life environments is one of life’s simple pleasures. Bust out a Mentos and play some Micro Machines.
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