#265 – The Goonies II

Goonies-II

                                            

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Goonies-II-The-U-5B-5D-0

 

                                                    There’s not a lot going on in this scene. Or any scene, really.

 

PLAYERS: 1

PUBLISHER: Konami

DEVELOPER: Konami

GENRE: Action/adventure

RELEASE DATE: November 1987

 

When I was a child, seeing The Goonies II at my local Blockbuster without The Goonies I by its side never made much sense. I knew there was an original Goonies arcade game. I had played it at Pizza Hut on one of those sit-down arcades, dag nab it! Strangely, Konami never ported that to the NES (only the Famicom), instead choosing to make a sequel and let the past sort itself out or something. So how is The Goonies II as written by Konami and not Spielberg? Let’s explore.

 

I know you’re all dying to hear a retro gamer’s take on a retro movie, like “The Goonies.” RIGHT? Well, here it is: it’s fun and goofy. I have no special ties to it, nor do I re-watch it every year in my cult movie group (note: I don’t actually have a cult movie group because I’m too concerned they’ll have John Waters’ marathons). I don’t know if it’s earned its “classic” status, though. It’s a better-than-average 80s movie and I’ll just leave it at that before Chunk punches me.

 

The Goonies II is pretty much exactly like its predecessor: a map-based puzzle game that requires you to collect items in one part of the map, and use them in other parts. It’s really that tedious! I wouldn’t have a problem with non-linear gameplay, but this game is huge and warp points are rampant. I never really knew where I was after I went in one. I can see it now: the hordes of poor children making their own maps in 1987 (pre-Nintendo Power) desperately wanting a game based on their precious Goonies to not be so blah. Non-linear frustration aside, Goonies II is really boring. Who likes flinging yo-yos into spiders and hired goons? Climb that ladder, little Billy, but make sure you climb really slow. There are doors everywhere. Some of them contain the aforementioned warp points, others contain items useless and otherwise. I really wish the game would have played like a standard point-and-click adventure, as there’s more promise in these short segments than the rest of the side-scrolling malarkey. Then again, I don’t really care.

 

D-

                                     

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  • This game isn’t bad but the whole maze doors thing just makes my head spin… I remember seeing a map in the “Official Nintendo Players Guide”.

  • Oh, come on! I’m sure it’s my nostalgic bone talking, but this game at least has some charm. And there’s an appearance of Konami Man. The music is pretty good. I guess I just really love side-quests, because this game is one giant side-quest.
    p.s. who doesn’t like making maps? It’s a Goonies game, for godssakes!

    • Many people have an affinity for Goonies II, but to me, it just feels like a sprawling mess.

    • Couldn’t agree more Dylan. The game has some slight charm, but its an over all mess of maps. I literally found myself drawing maps in a notebook just to remember where I had gone. I dont know if I was ever close to the end, but I do know I never reached the under water srction as I saw in the game preview.

  • Anonymous

    A bit surprised that Legacy of the Wizard would gain a B+ and Goonies 2 a D-. I enjoy both games, but in my opinion Legacy is particularly cryptic, and even more of a maze.

    Also surprised that even Dr. Chaos scored higher than this game, even if only slightly. While Dr. Chaos has some similar gameplay elements, it definitely lacks the charm and polish of Goonies 2. Granted it’s all opinion, and I can see why the extremely nonlinear design of Goonies 2 would turn people off, but I think it at least deserves a better grade than that dreck known as Dr. Chaos.

    Meh, I’m not losing sleep over it though… just wanted to throw in an alternative perspective.

    • I don’t even understand why I take to certain games over others, particularly when they share similar design elements. When games grab me, they grab me.

    • Anonymous

      Fair enough, not everything has to be eloquently rationalized. Sometimes you like a game because it just gels with your personal taste.