Yeah, it’s a perfect “something that rhymes with fit,” alright.
You only have three minutes left! Hurry up and flip that ‘G’ over!!!
PLAYERS: 1-2 alternating
DEVELOPER: Beam Software
GENRE: Early Childhood
RELEASE DATE: March 1990
The Fisher Price saga ends today with A Perfect Fit, and may I just say, thank the Lord. While I can’t fault a game designer for attempting to make games that teach little kids, would it hurt them to give children a modicum of credit? Could we please pretend that kids do in fact have brains that they use on a daily basis? If we follow the logic of A Perfect Fit, then education in America died quickly and painfully in the early 90s. The goal: on the game board, you will see silhouetted shapes of Fun and Educational Fisher-Price products. The game will give you colored pictures of the same products, and in order to progress, you must place the correct colored picture over its silhouetted brethren. BUT WAIT. Sometimes the colored pictures are upside down or facing the opposite direction. These things should not be. IT MUST BE A PERFECT FIT. Drag your colored picture to the left side of the screen and choose the correct way – vertical or horizontal – that your picture needs to be turned. Sound complicated or obtuse? That’s only because I can’t explain it very well. It’s the most simple game I’ve ever had the displeasure to play. If Firehouse Rescue was the action-packed kick-off to this snoozefest of a product placement trilogy, I Can Remember the awkward, brainier middle child, then A Perfect Fit is the developers setting back the fight for education a good twenty years. Little Billy deserves better than this.
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