#151 – Cool World

Cool-World

 

                                                                                                      Poor Ralph Bakshi.

 

Cool-World-U-5B-5D-0

 

                               Precocious little scamps, they are. Mind their bullets or, you know, just turn the game off.

 

PLAYERS: 1

PUBLISHER: Ocean

DEVELOPER: Ocean

GENRE: Action

RELEASE DATE: June 1993

 

If there’s any film that Brad Pitt would like you to forget, it’s probably “Cool World.” And thrust it into the annals of forgetfulness we have! The same should go for this game on the NES, yet another in the system’s lineup that will induce bouts of haven’t-I-seen-this-before-itis, and wow-Ocean-can’t-make-a-good-game-to-save-their-life-alia. You play as a leaping mad Gabriel Byrne and you avoid fast cars, cheap women, gangster squirrels and good taste, all while fighting for your right to get onto Broadway or something. You are armed with a pen BECAUSE IT’S MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD (should you be able to find it), an eraser, and a bomb. These are your weapons because, you know, you’re a cartoonist and cartoonists like to make things explode wherever they go. I don’t know, can one expect much sense from a game that features squirrels with fedoras and tommyguns? Cool World is going for the Who Framed Roger Rabbit? vibe, both in terms of the film and the game. Instead of being a straightforward crappy detective game with awful driving mechanics, Cool World expects you to solve puzzles the old-fashioned way: by not giving you a clue as to where to go or what to do. Much like Who Framed Roger Rabbit? by the infamous LJN, the formula works. Even after wandering around the Cool World Streets (actual level name) for awhile, and trying unsuccessfully to avoid getting pelted by squirrel droppings encased in bullet shells, I still lacked the slightest idea of where to go. Throw in Atari 5200 graphics and a brutal lack of self-esteem and you have Cool World. Because if you have to say you’re cool, it probably means that you’re not.

 

F

 

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  • Yeah, it’s a crappy game, ugh — I actually had to look up GameFAQs to find out that, to pass the first level, you have to push a smelly garbage can in front of the two guys guarding a club before they will leave and let you in. But the odds of figuring that out on your own are very slim… it is not like a true logic puzzle where the ingredients are there and you just have to figure out how to put it together, no, it is just a pile of crap.