#17 – The Adventures of Bayou Billy

                 
                    

                                                    “Maybe I did eat the dingo’s baby. WHAT OF IT!” – Bayou Billy.

 

 

                                             Zangief explores the bayou for the first time, gets drunk, beats up Bayou Billy.

 

PLAYERS: 1

PUBLISHER: Konami

DEVELOPER: Konami

GENRE: Beat-em-up

RELEASE DATE: June 1989

 

In 1989, Australian fever had hit America big time. “Crocodile Dundee” was a huge hit movie, Yahoo Serious was being taken seriously as a comedian, and Bayou Billy hits the NES. Now Bayou Billy technically isn’t Australian. In fact, the game takes place in New Orleans. Despite Konami’s original intent, look at the cover art, then look at this promo poster for “Crocodile Dundee II.”

 

 

Bayou Billy looks just like Paul Hogan. What was Konami thinking? My guess: they too were swept away as much by Aussie fever as we Americans, and inadvertently made Bayou Billy a surrogate twin to Crocodile Dundee. Makes sense, eh? Anyways, much like Aussie fever petered out after about a year, any sort of interest one might have in Bayou Billy disappears after about a stage. Unless, of course, you’re indulging in a Foster’s.

 

Being drunk might be the only way to make it through this game. You begin as Bayou Billy, out to save his girlfriend from an evil perverted fat guy. Upon first inspection, it plays like a standard beat-em-up. Punch, kick, it’s all in the mind, until you realize it literally takes eight hits to kill one dude. Eight hits! The collision detection is shot to all hell, too. Despite the fact that you’re standing right in front of a thug, you may or may not hit them. From my couple playthroughs, the only way playing this beat-em-up part of the game is tolerable, is if you have a stick with some reach to it, or bullets for your gun. If you have to get all close to the thugs, you’re dead, like so many shrimps on a barbie… wow, that was bad. My apologies, folks.

 

                                                                          

                                                                                                Uh…

 

The game has a slew of options, at least for a NES game. Game A is your traditional Bayou Billy experience; Game B ups the difficulty a little bit, though I really couldn’t tell much of a difference; Practice Mode is like the game, but even more boring; and the Sound Test is a tour through the game’s breathtaking music. It’s not bad, but it is unnecessary.

 

I’m not too sure what Konami was thinking with this turd. As a young child in the late ’80’s/early ’90’s, playing a greasy Australian dude on my Nintendo (check out the box art – no racism here, just the truth) was not my idea of a good time. Konami pushed this game hard, though. It had a comic mini-series, if you can believe that, and was mentioned on Captain N back in the day as being one of the few games he couldn’t beat. If the good Captain were here today, I’d tell him it’s for the best: Bayou Billy is a piece of didgeri-doo on a stick.

 

D

 

 From Archie comics, the makers of outdated teenage slop and, uh, Sonic comics COMES…

 

 

But wait! There’s more!

 

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  • Anonymous

    The difference between Game A & Game B isn’t difficulty. Game A lets you use the zapper during the shooting stages, Game B lets you use the regular nes controller

  • Thank you, nitpicky Anonymous poster!

  • Anonymous

    I could be wrong, but I don’t think Bayou Billy is supposed to be Australian. I think the game’s supposed to take place in the American south (think Louisiana), hence “Bayou”

  • I’m sure you’re correct. This was in the early days of my reviews (#17? Scandalous!) and I was less nitpicky about fact-checking and getting my information straight. I just wanted to write fun reviews.

    Still, Capcom did make Bayou Billy look a lot like Paul Hogan a.k.a. Crocodile Dundee.

    • Christian

      Speaking of nitpicky…it’s Konami, not Capcom. 😉

  • Woops… Konami. Thanks Christian

  • This game is a steaming pile of crap. Especially after the ninth time you get eaten by the gators or your jaw broken by some little ass guy. BUT, You NEED to play the driving stage. It’s actually a lot of fun. I think you can play it right from the options screen. And like nitpicky said the other stages with the zapper are ok.

  • Anonymous

    This game is actually fuckin raw. Most people hate it because they’re pussies about difficulty, but in reality it’s a balls-to-the-walls genre-bender with phenomenal music.

    In the first level, you:

    – Brawl with kung-fu guys
    – Punch multiple eagles in the face
    – Punch multiple alligators in the face
    – Dodge a boulder thrown by a huge guy and throw it back
    – Disarm a scuba diver then shoot him in the face with his own gun

    How could that be bad?

  • Anonymous

    lol i remember this crappy game, i liked the zapper and the driving stages

  • Anonymous

    It’s astonishing how there are so many terrible games Konami released on the NES, considering their remarkable high points. This game is virtually unplayable, almost an Imagineering-level disaster.

  • Honda Jon

    I always liked this one, I wouldn’t recommend it to anybody. I love it though.